One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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AND

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops