A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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