What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

This is Heading 1

How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

whats red and hard to eat a brick.

Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

Boxing on Boxing Day

Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .