oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

why was kade sad? he shit himself

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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