What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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what did the farmer do? plant

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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i committed murder

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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well use a tissue!

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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learn. advance!

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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