What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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