whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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