Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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one of the idiot

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Penis

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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nice tits.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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