Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Knock knock Go away

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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