Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops