To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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Canada

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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Oh...okay, good.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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