A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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What's your blood type? Red.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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