how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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What's big and purple? Barney

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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