Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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i like turtles

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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