Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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