What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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I read the terms of service.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What's more annoying than reading a joke you can't understand? ?????

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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