My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Men

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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