What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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