How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops