why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Joesph Triphook.

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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Stephen Hawking

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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