Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean????? What Nothing they just waved ???? Oh Do you sea what I did there ???? No I'm shore you did ???? By Erin

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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