A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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