funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

Do you play piano? No

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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