A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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