What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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roes are red violets are blue we have nothing in common so baby were through

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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