YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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