A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and red? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I? Everett

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops