What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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c-? men, C-men

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Cinema greatest shit final, anime and videogames dont translate well into movies edition: One day... a young man named Tyler Reed, is chased by the notorious bully named Peter Ganondorf... Just then... he coincidentally utters "I AM THE LINK!" And a great lightning bolt strikes him... Tyler Becomes THE LINK! As for Peter Ganondorf... he became a pile of burning ashes... But Just then THE LINK, gets contacted by Jessica Fairy! And receives a important message... The evil Dr.Bullshitious has destroyed the connection without earth and planet Zelda! And that is bad... BECAUSE! Can Tyler Reed use his powers of lightning fast flight, and collect the TWO pieces of the mystic "triforce" to earn the ultimate weapon? The Master gun! Most importantly, can he become THE LINK between Planet Zelda and Earth? *Shows random shots that you cant make shit of like those movies you know suck just from the narration* ZELDA: THE LINK TO PLANET EVOLUTION! Moral: Still better than Dragon Ball Evolution...

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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