What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

What do you call a black man? Rob

womans having rights.

Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

What's old and wrinkly? old people

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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