Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops