(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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Why did the black kid pass the exam? Because he studied.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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