Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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