Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops