Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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