chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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