Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops