oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops