Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops