How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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BIG PENIS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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NEVER

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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A man walks into a bar.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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