Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

Robin, get in the car!

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

What's long and black? A long and black object.

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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