How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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What fires shots? A gun

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops