why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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