Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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