How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Whats green? The color green.

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why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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