Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops