- Anti Joke

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

Why did the fish fly It didn't

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10