find the o 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duh its up top

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

You want to hear a joke? Republican

Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

How do you scare a black man? You dont

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

Jovan

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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