Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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the bible

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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