There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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