What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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