Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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